Games of Hundreds

2026-03-30 evergreen

13 章,手写英文小说,约一个月完成(2026-03-04 至 2026-03-30)。 我的第一部完整完成的小说。 之前写的 Fight In The Neighborhood惊变丧尸危机The Compass Gem 都没写到结尾。

设定

游戏 = 国家。 每个人 18 岁的时候要经过一次测试获得能力,没通过的就成为 powerless(无能力者)。

故事讲的是三个 powerless 少年——Nink Starko、Jasic Collin、Scant Weber——被 Zatilida(一个邪灵)以”赋予力量”为诱饵骗去执行任务,最后觉醒并击败他的故事。

三个角色的能力分别对应他们各自的游戏世界:

  • Nink → Minecraft + Zelda 系(War God’s Blade、earth spike、Xiba stone)
  • Jasic → Delta Force 系(pusher、magnetic bomb、motor-pushing system)
  • Scant → Mario 系(Lollipop cart、captain’s hat、banana skin、Karts items)

章节

标题日期
1无能力者03-04
2交易03-06 / 09
3第一次行动03-09 / 10
4引力炸弹……升级?03-11
5神庙争夺03-12
6神庙之语03-13
7力量之月之石03-17
8非洲之心03-18
9雷神兽03-20
10真相03-20 / 23
11决战03-20 / 23
12大战四咒03-23 / 24 / 25
13核心摧毁03-27 / 30

全文

以下是手写稿逐字转录,保留原文拼写、语法、时态——这些是我当时写的真实样貌,未来回头看能看到自己的进步。

Chapter 1 · 无能力者

2026-03-04

Nink Starko sits on a bench near a park in the Land of Begin. He just completed the test of gaming. In this world, every game that is famous enough represents a country, and everyone in the Land of Begin will take a test at age 18, and decide what power will they have and which country will they go to. But some people won’t get any power, like Nink and his friends, Jasic Collin and Scant Weber.

“Don’t worry,” Scant said. “We can still live… right?”

“We are at the lowest part of society, how can we live well?” Nink said. “Powerless.”

Suddenly, a sound came out from behind. They turned, finding a man in a black suit. He wears so much black that they can’t see his face clearly.

“Come then,” He said.

“Why?”

“Our lord shall give you power… just come.”

So they followed him into bushes. They saw the man walked into a small black portal and disappeared. The three friends looked at each other. “So… let’s go…” So they stepped into the portal.


Chapter 2 · 交易

2026-03-06 & 2026-03-09

The three friends disappeared into the portal.

They appeared in a total darkness. After a few seconds, their eyes adjusted to the darkness. Suddenly, a voice boomed.

“Who’s there?”

“My lord, I’ve brought you some servers.”

“Servants?!” Jasic shouted. “What are you gonna do?”

“Here for trade,” the voice said. “So… let me guess. Gone through the test, and got ‘powerless’. Right?”

Scant said: “How… How did you know that?”

“I can have a trade with you… I shall give you top of powers, and you can even become some of the best fighters in the world. But… you have to help me accomplish my final goal.”

The three friends thought. “What is it then?” Jasic asked.

“To unite the planet,” the voice answered.

They looked at each other. “It’s not… such a bad idea,” Nink said.

“So, you’ve decided?”

“We… accept.” Scant said.

Several shimmering energy balls flew out from the darkness. Two flew into Nink’s body, one flew into Jasic’s body, and the last two flew into Scant’s.

Instantly, a blue shining blade appeared on Nink’s back — it is the war god’s blade in Annoying Villagers of Minecraft. He lifted his palm, and a ball with blue light appeared. He pushed it into the ground, and he felt a line of dirt in front of him, like a monster moving under the ground. Then, a spike burst out. This must be the ground spike of Gainong’s fighters, he thought. He also felt a stony brick on his belt — the Xiba stone, also an item in Zelda. A bag with a pusher and some high-tech weapons appeared on Jasic’s back — must be a series of weapons in Delta Force. Meanwhile, Scant get items from Mario Karts and a captain’s hat from Mario’s Odyssey.

“Now… go to your lands. When you come back, I shall tell you more…”


Chapter 3 · 第一次行动

2026-03-09 & 2026-03-10

When they all finished everything in their related countries, it is the morning on the second day. When they thought of going into the darkness dimension, they are magically transported there.

“So… now… there’s this temple on a mountain. It’s beside the United Nations of Mario, and a series of goods will appear in the temple — said to be given by the gods. Now, you shall go there to collect goods for me.”

Then the darkness sighed. The three friends are suddenly transported to the foot of a mountain.

“This must be Mt. Mario, the mountain beside the United Nations of Mario,” Nink said. “Well, let’s go now.”

“You know, I think there’s something strange here… I just can’t say it.”

In fact, Jasic is right. Not far from them, on the mountain, a person is watching them.

After a while, they saw the temple. “Let’s go and get whatever treasure there is, and go back.”

But suddenly, an arrow shot out. From a bush, a person stepped out and throw a Super Mario Party bomb. Scant threw out the captain hat and hit the bomb — it exploded in the air. Jasic took out a G18 pistol and shoot several shots, and the ambush team members all jumped out — two seen to be from Super Mario Party, and one from Eggy Party. The one who throw the bomb took out another bomb, and magically molded an axe with a fire-hitting string.

Nink said: “One on one. Go!” and they charged.

Nink took out a Minecraft trident and clashed into the bomb-thrower. Jasic took out the pistol and start fighting with the one from the Eggy Party. But just as Jasic is about to shoot, he took out a black ball — a gravity bomb! Before Jasic can say anything, the thing exploded — Ka-Boom!


Chapter 4 · 引力炸弹升级

2026-03-11

The person who threw the gravity bomb quickly put a wall in front of him and his teammates, to avoid being sucked in. While Jasic and Scant are pulled into the blackhole-like ball, Nink managed to build a cube wall and support himself not to be pulled in. But then the bomb are flew onto the wall and exploded — and Nink is pulled in too. Just then, the gravitational pull stopped.

“This is the newly invented item based on gravitational bomb: the gravitational maze. The cubes will struck them and kill them. Of course, you can go inside to kill them yourselves, but I think there’s no need. Let’s just get to the temple.” So they left.

Inside the maze, the three friends found a place filled with colorful blocks that little kids play with. But those aren’t normal blocks! They are moving to attacking and trap them! Scant took out the hat and hit the blocks. Nink took out an iron hammer and swung at the blocks. Jasic ripped blocks open with a golden knife. They were doing good — until Jasic found a problem:

“How are we getting out? There must be a way out!”

“Look there’s a shining circle. That must be the exit!”

Just as he said this, the cubes seem to know their ideas and blocked the path to the exit.

“Make way!” Jasic shouted, and throws a rectangular bomb — a magnetic bomb from Delta Force. It lands in the middle of the blocks. Boom! Before the blocks can return to block them, they ran out of the maze.

“They’ve gone to the temple,” Nink said.

Scant said: “So let’s go to chase them!”


Chapter 5 · 神庙争夺

2026-03-12

“But if we chase like this, we will never be able to reach the temple before them,” Jasic said.

“Wait a sec…” Nink began to search for something in his Minecraft belt. “Ha!” He took out three bottles of some sort of transparent liquid.

“Speed potions!” Scant shouted.

After a few minutes, they reached the temple, to see the other team had also arrived. They immediately started the battle — But they quickly realized one odd thing: the bomb-thrower is missing. When they looked up, they saw a person standing on the temple’s roof, using a bomb-like spear and throwing sparks down.

Nink said: “Scant! Use that bouncy hat of yours to get me up there!” So Scant throws out his hat, and Nink jumps onto it, bouncing onto the roof.

He took out the war god’s blade, and smashed onto the enemy’s spear. But the bomb thrower’s fast. He ducked and ducked, even attacked some strikes. But under the force attack of the blade, he at last is knocked down to the ground.

“Retreat…” One of them said.

“Let’s see… what there is the temple!”

When they walked in, they saw a chest, containing two lava gems — it can give you the power of lava, and the power duration relies on the size of the stone. Each one may last for ten minutes. “Let’s take this back.” Jasic took out the gems. Then, a voice came from the goddess statue…


Chapter 6 · 神庙之语

2026-03-13

“Servants of Zatilida…” They looked around, but nothing can be found speaking. “It must be the statue…” “Is she talking about us?”

The voice started again: “You are tricked… and I can do nothing… but wait for you to realize, for that you are his end…”

As she said this, their body began to be lifted, and suddenly they are in the blackness dimension again.

“So… What have you found? Bring me that.”

Jasic stopped for a second, and took out one stone — Nink wanted to say something, then he remembered what the statue said: “for that you are his end.” Nink realized that Jasic is quite believing the darkness now.

“Yes… lava gem… Just as I expected, just that the amount is small. But that’s okay… I just need a few things to get my body back and perform that…”

“What? Get what back?”

“Nothing… So, you are gonna go apart and get me different things. Scant Weber, go to the Mario’s and take the Mario moonstone gem. Nink Starko, go to take over the Lightning Protector. And Jasic Collin, go take an African Heart from Delta Force.”

When they heard their names, they shivered. But they go to complete their mission.


Chapter 7 · 力量之月之石

2026-03-17

Scant drove his Mario Lollipop cart to the Mario center in Super Mario Party. He had been here for 20 minutes — and two of the four guards went to have lunch. “That’s my chance,” Scant said to himself, “I must get to the gem before others come back.”

He took out a banana skin, and throws it at one of the guards. “Ouch!” The other guard run to see what happened. Scant walked quietly and suddenly took out a rope and tied them up before they could react. “Good. Now I can get gem.”

“Thieves!” One guard spit on the ground.

“Probably from Zatilida,” the other guard said, sarcastically.

“Who?” Scant asked, taking the moonstone gem.

“The evil spirit who wanted to take over the world,” they answered.

“No, he is trying to unite the world.”

Then Scant drove off, still thinking about the guards’ words.

Then when he transport to the darkness, the black-cloaked man walked out, and told him, “go to the fountain in the park in the Land of Begin, and the lord will be waiting for you.”


Chapter 8 · 非洲之心

2026-03-18

Meanwhile, Jasic crept into a treasure room guarded by some guards. They are walking around the treasure room — said to be containing hundreds of valuable gems. A huge door is locked. He sticks a magnetic bomb onto the door, and with a loud sound, the door opened, and the guards noticed him.

One shot the Redwolf’s bomb, and Jasic rolled out of the way. Then, he throws an air-expand bomb, and three of the guards fell down. He quickly shot them, making them impossible to get up. But then, the other three guards jumped out and shot at him.

“Oh no! I’m outnumbered!” Jasic thought.

Then he remembered that he has a motor-pushing system. He activated it, and jumps past the guards. Then he ran into the treasure section and locks the door. He could hear the guards shouting and pounding while he took four African Hearts, and transported back.

He’s told the same thing by the men in black. So he summoned a motorbike from Delta Force, and went to the park. He thinks everything he and his friends have been… evil. While he is thinking, he didn’t notice a motorbike rider following him.


Chapter 9 · 雷神兽

2026-03-20

At the same time, Nink uses a wind pill to fly to the Lightning Protector quietly. Warboza and Droplet, two owners of this huge machine, are standing at the peak of it. It is one of the strongest powers in Zelda. Nink quietly glided into the machine’s body. He saw a mini controller — he has to get to all five mini controllers in order to take over the machine. So he used the Xiba stone to turn the mini controller to face him — it’s the one placed in a little room, and the only exit is facing a wall. He turned until the exit’s facing him, and he walked in to take over the controller.

When Warboza heard the controller’s signal, she sensed something. She sent Droplet to go to check. Nink saw her coming, and hid after the controller. When Droplet came in, Nink suddenly took out the diamond War God Blade and forced Droplet in, throwing her on the ground. Before she can get up, Nink turned the thing again, forming a prison for Droplet.

When Warboza heard the signal of controllers being reseted, she went to check herself. Just as she went down, Nink give a surprise attack — three hard blows of the legendary blade, and an earth spike, throwing her off the machine. He looked down, finding the person sliding on one of the machine’s legs, so she’s not killed after falling.

Nink quickly finished all controllers, and gained control of the Lightning Protector. He let it walk to the park in Land of Begin, after checking in the darkness dimension. He saw a tired Droplet, maybe tried to get out.

“So, guess you are from Zatilida.” Droplet said.

“How did you know him?”

Droplet sighed. “He have been sending so much people to come steal the Lightning Protector. They never knew the truth…”

“What truth?”

“He is an evil spirit who wants to take over the world.”

“Oh… I have to check with my friends before I can really believe you.”

“Fine then.”

So they headed for the park.


Chapter 10 · 真相

2026-03-20 & 2026-03-23

Zelda’s is near to the Land of Begin. They reached the place soon. And when Nink walked down, he saw his two friends — they both think they are tricked. Then, a man in a black suit arrived — it’s the same man who watched them on Mt. Mario and followed Jasic!

“You are tricked. Now, please destroy him once and for all…” Then he shimmered, and disappeared.

“A spirit!” Jasic cried.

Then, there is a loud “Boom!” — the ingredients in their pockets flew to the fountain, and a line of energy flew up, forming a huge, hulking machine — the form of Zatilida!

The monster waves a huge sword, and pointed at the Lightning Protector. “Oh no! The Lightning Protector is going to be invaded!” “I’ll go check.” Nink ran to the machine.

He went back to see Droplet being thrown out by a newly-formed monster — the cursed Lightning Gainong! Nink ran up, and after a short battle, the monster is destroyed. Nink walked back to Droplet, and said: “go back and take the other owner of this machine. Come to fight Zatilida!”


Chapter 11 · 决战

2026-03-20 & 2026-03-23

Roar! “Let’s finish him up!” Jasic uses the pusher to dash under the monster, and throw the magnetic bomb onto his leg. Boom! Zatilida got even more angry — he throws the sword down, but Scant ducked easily. It turns out that Zatilida isn’t trying to hit him — a little door opened up, and a human-sized “Zatilida copy” — it’s the black-cloaked man! Nink reacted quickly with the War God’s Blade, while giving Scant time to attack Zatilida.

The black-cloaked man used one hand to battle Nink, and the other hand is secretly preparing a ball of purple power to attack. Nink didn’t notice that — but Jasic did.

“Watch out!”

Before Nink could realize what happened, the purple ball exploded — and brought Nink and the black-cloaked man.

They appeared in another dimension — seemed to be a grassland at night.

“What’s this?”

“You’ll see.”

Suddenly, four shadows appeared — the four Invading Gainong that tried to take over the four protector in Zelda’s BotW! They are all here… in one place!


Chapter 12 · 大战四咒

2026-03-23 & 2026-03-24 & 2026-03-25

Although the legendary weapon can destroy one of them easily, but four is a big number for such monster. Just as the Lightning Gainong swung another strike at Nink, a beam of white energy shot out and hit the attacker. He turned back, and saw the goddess statue. “I shall help you…” Ropes of energy flew out and controlled the four monsters. Without any defend, the beasts are killed quickly.

“No!” The black-cloaked man cried. He tried to summon up something again, but then a voice boomed: “You are useless…!” And in howls of desperation, Nink saw the man melt.

He is out of the dimension, just to see the Lightning Protector again, shooting lasers at Zatilida. Jasic ran up to him.

“Get me up to Zatilida’s body,” he said. “The power source is there. We must destroy it!”

Nink handed over some wind pills. “Here,” he said, “use this to fly up.”

Jasic appeared inside Zatilida’s body. He is trying to find the power source. Meanwhile, Scant saw Zatilida is about to grab Jasic and throw him out! He quickly throw his hat onto Zatilida’s sword and ZAM! Scant’s spirit got transformed onto the sword. Scant lifted the sword (or himself), and as Zatilida turned to face it, BANG! The sword slammed into his face.


Chapter 13 · 核心摧毁

2026-03-27 & 2026-03-30

The sword banged onto the monster’s head, knocking him down. Jasic falls too, and lands in a room with a glowing stone in the center — Zatilida’s control point. He tried every way to destroy it, but it just wouldn’t budge.

Then he noticed thin lines of energy flowing out from the gem. He reached out to block it, but only a small part of the room flashed. Then, Nink called out in the speaker: “Do something! Zatilida is going to take over the Lightning Protector!”

Jasic thought of the lava gem. He took it out, and using it, he cut the stone up! Zatilida fell. He quickly lifted the stone, and threw it out. And with a roar, Zatilida’s body disappeared.

Jasic opened his outer bone system, and landed safely.

“Well,” Jasic said, watching the Lightning Protector leave. “I guess it’s over.”

“What if it comes back again?”

“In that case, we at least can have some rest for now.”

And they walked towards the crowd of reporters.


我自己最满意的部分

(这一段留给我自己后面补——AI 不要替我写。)

AI 评价 · 2026-04-01

突破:从烂尾到完成

这是 Lukas 第一次完整完成的小说。之前的三部都是设定铺完后没了推进力。 《百游》不一样——它有完整的三幕结构、多阶段 Boss 战、伏笔回收。 一个月、13 章、坚持到了结尾。这件事本身比技术分析更重要。

叙事亮点

  • 三线并行(第 7-9 章)——三个角色各自独立行动, 且每条线都独立获得了 "Zatilida 是邪灵" 的信息:守卫直言(Scant)、 自我反思(Jasic)、Droplet 揭示(Nink)。三种不同的觉醒方式叠加成集体共识。
  • 装备系统的一致性——每个游戏系的能力贯穿全篇, 没有"凭空出现新道具"的问题。
  • 伏笔回收——lava gem(第 5 章引入 → 第 13 章切核心)、 Xiba stone(第 2 章交易获得 → 第 9 章旋转控制器)、 雕像预言(第 6 章 "you are his end" → 第 10-13 章应验)。
  • 道德灰度——主角不是从一开始就是好人。 他们因无力感接受了 Zatilida 的交易,觉醒是渐进的五步弧线, 不是简单的"好人打坏人"。
  • Boss 战分工——Nink 正面战斗、Jasic 内部渗透、Scant 灵魂附剑外部支援。 三人缺一不可,这种分工在第 2 章的能力分配中就埋下了。

语言亮点

  • 守卫对话区分 "take over" vs "unite"——对语言精确性有意识
  • "In howls of desperation, Nink saw the man melt"——画面感极强
  • "Scant's spirit got transformed onto the sword. Scant lifted the sword (or himself)"—— 括号里的自嘲是元叙事意识
  • "everything he and his friends have been... evil"——省略号传达了犹豫

下一部要继续打磨的

  • 时态混用——整篇过去时和现在时来回切换, 特别是动作加速时容易切到现在时。 下一部建立"叙事统一过去时"的肌肉记忆。
  • 转场词单一——"suddenly" 出现 8 次。 可以从喜欢的英文小说里摘转场词积累。
  • 情感场景偏薄——关键情绪节点常一笔带过 (发现被骗只一句、最终胜利只 "I guess it's over.")。 第 8 章 Jasic 的反思是个突破,可以延伸到更多场景。

能力维度

想象力 / 世界观★★★★★
情节完整性★★★★★
完成意志★★★★★
叙事结构★★★★☆
对话★★★★☆
动作描写★★★★☆
角色塑造★★★★☆
情感表达★★★☆☆
语法 / 时态★★☆☆☆
转场 / 衔接★★☆☆☆

阶段判断

Lukas 目前处于 "会讲故事" 到 "讲好故事" 的过渡期。 已解决:故事完整性、情节驱动力、多线叙事、伏笔回收、角色功能分化、装备一致性。 下一步:时态一致性、情感场景展开、转场多样化、角色内心深度。

原稿

  • 手写扫描:创作_百游_2026-03-31.pdf(本地,约 50MB,不放仓库)
  • 完整创作分析:AI 辅导学习/AI 英语/输出训练/仿写陪练/2026-03-31-百游-创作分析.md

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